Light shines through darkness
by thementalist2
Summary: AU. Shaw is living a horrible life. Her dad is abusive. Her mother and fiancé are dead. She decides that she cannot live without her fiancé. Before she can take her own life, Finch arrives and agrees to help her. She agrees to work for him, and must try to live with the pain of losing a loved one and being watched by the enemy...RHAW. Told in Shaw's POV.
1. Chapter 1

My name is Sameen Shaw. I live in New York City, alone. Away from my past life, which was just the worst life I ever lived.

My mother died when I was 5, leaving me with my abusive father. He died when I was 16, and I was sent to foster care. But a few months later, I was abducted from my bedroom, right in my foster home. I didn't know it, but my father had somehow survived in the accident that had supposedly killed him. He took me back to the house I grew up in, and abused me until I ran away at 25. I could not stand his constant rants about my behavior. During those nine years that he abused me, he also told me that I would purposely hurt myself in order to forget about him. Every day, I would pour boiling hot water on my arm, causing mild burns. However, the boiling water became an obsession. Something that no one knew about. When I was 25, I decided that I had enough of my father's abuse and rants. I packed my things and left, having no clue where to go. My life was a disaster.

I had run away to Washington D.C, getting a job with the ISA. I was out on the streets of New York City, protecting eight million people. Eliminating perpetrators, saving lives, and just plain being me. But working with the ISA had a deadly consequence. My partner, Michael Cole, was caught in a bank robbery/hostage situation, and when he tried to save someone's life, he was murdered by one of the perpetrators. My life took a turn for the worse.

He was my fiancé, and I loved him so much that I wanted to die. The pain of living without him was like a weight pressing into my chest. The only option I thought of was to die. I wanted to die.

Two days after his death, I got into my car and drove to one of NYC's less popular bridges. The bottle in my hand, I prepared to swallow the pills with water from my bottle, and then fall off the bridge and let the darkness claim me.

Just as I prepared to open the bottle and stand on the railing, I pulled out my thermos filled to the brim with hot water. Even holding it in my hand felt like fire. The water was so clear and looked like it needed to be used. I decided that I would use it one last time, never again being able to feel its warmth against my skin.

I brought the water across my arm, causing red marks, but feeling much better. I wanted to think happy thoughts before I took my own life.

"Ma'am, please don't," a voice said.

I turned around and saw a man in his early 50s getting out of a car and walking towards me.

"I want to die," I said. "I don't belong here anymore."

"I can help you," he replied. "My name is Harold Finch, and I'm offering you a job where you can continue being you."

"What kind of job?"

"Saving people's lives. Stopping crime before it happens. I can help you."

"You don't know what it's like to lose someone you love, do you?" I asked. "I lost my fiancé to bank robbers. He was the love of my life. How am I supposed to move on?"

"I lost my fiancée. She thinks I'm dead. I had to fake my death to protect her."

As I prepared to respond, another man got out of the car. He had graying hair and dark eyes. He wore a suit and had a dog walking right beside him.

"Ms. Shaw, I think you should let us help you," the man known as Harold replied.

"Ms. Shaw? How do you know my name?" I said.

"I know a lot about you. So does my partner, Mr. Reese."

I kept looking at the two me, not knowing what to do. But for some reason, the urge to pour hot water began growing like hunger inside me. I reached into my pocket and prepared to pull out the water, but the man known as Mr. Reese gently grabbed my wrist and took my thermos away. I was mad at him, needing to get rid of the painful memories of my father.

"Please let us help you," Harold said.

I almost turned around and walked away, but I knew that I wouldn't have my thermos. I needed my water so much. It was like it had embedded itself inside me, and I would die without it.

"Ok," I relented. I followed them back to the car, and the dog seemed to like me a lot. Once in the backseat of the car, next to Mr. Reese, I said, "What's the dog's name?"

"Bear," Mr. Reese, or as I called him, 'The Man in the Suit,' replied. "But he only responds to Dutch commands."

"That's interesting," I continued. I wanted to make conversation with them, but they seemed more focused on the road than on me. I felt left out, like I wasn't wanted. I needed to burn myself, needed to get rid of the pain.

About 20 minutes later, we arrived at some abandoned building. It looked like a library, but I wasn't sure. Harold and Mr. Reese led me into the building, and once I got inside, I saw the huge collection of books. There was an iron chain fence blocking off part of the library, and beyond the fence was a set of computer monitors.

"What's with all the computer screens?" I asked.

"This is part of a huge computer system that I built for the government known as The Machine," Harold explained. "That's how I found out about you. We received your social security number."

"You what?"

"The Machine I built gives out the social security number of someone who will be involved in a crime somehow. They are either the victim or perpetrator. We received your number because you were in danger."

I look over at Reese, who is reading something on Finch's computer. He notices me, but quickly looks away. He seems shy, but there seems to be something hiding behind those eyes.

It is night, and I look out the window at the streets of New York City. The window looked so inviting. It looked like it wanted me to break it. I was still thinking about killing myself, because the thoughts of Cole were racing through my mind. I still wanted to be with him.

I take several huge steps back, and begin running towards the window, my life flashing before my eyes. I was about to break the window, when suddenly a strong arm grabbed me by my jacket and yanked me back, away from the glass.

I turn around to see Reese looking at me, very concerned. The same look he had given me while staring at Finch's computer.

I look at Reese again, and I catch my breath. I recognize the look in his eyes and I don't believe what I'm seeing.

The look in his eyes was one of love and concern.

I was still grieving over Cole's death, and had barely met Reese, but there were three things I was 100 percent sure they were true.

First, I was going to be working with Finch and Reese.

Second, I was nowhere near any boiling water.

And third, Reese was completely and undeniably in love with me.

I didn't know it, but I was falling in love with The Man in the Suit.

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

I stand next to Finch's computer, watching him read some info about the latest social security number. But Reese was getting distracted. He held my hand as Finch told us that the social security number belonged to a lawyer, Diane Hansen. Harold told Reese to come with him, and I heard their argument.

"Mr. Reese, that woman is distracting you from saving the lives of eight million innocent people!"

"Finch, she was going to kill herself, what was I supposed to do? Let her swallow those pills and fall off the bridge?"

"I'm very aware that she was in trouble. But you've saved her from death twice, and now you've become distracted by her presence!"

"Finch, you have no idea how much it meant to me that I saved her life."

"Why?"

"Because...I love her."

I almost fell backwards, learning about Mr. Reese's love for me. But the memories of Michael and my father are coming back. I quickly find the kitchen, and spot a teakettle on the stove, the water boiling hot. I take the teakettle off the stove and pour the water on my arm. The skin turns red, but the memories go away. I turn around and find Reese staring at me in horror. I realize that he has seen my secret. He saw the one thing that I wanted to keep to myself for the rest of my life.

"Shaw…" he began, taking a few steps towards me.

I stay where I am, still clutching the teakettle. I think about Hansen, and how she could possibly be in danger, or planning something dangerous.

"Can I see your arm?" he asked quietly, finally reaching me.

I set the kettle on the stove, and I see him slowly rolling up my sleeve. He gasps in horror at the sight of my arm, cherry red from the burns.

"How long have you been doing this?"

"Since I was 16," I replied.

"You can't keep burning yourself. You will damage your skin and it might never heal."

"I burnt myself many times, and my skin always heals."

"It won't if you keep making it worse. But I want to make it stop. Burning yourself is not the way to stop pain. It's very dangerous."

He has started to corner me against the wall, but I don't care. The Man in the Suit is coming closer, and I want him to tell me how he really feels about me.

Very gently, I put my hands in the air, and he is putting his hands on the wall. Before I can process what is happening, he looks me in the eyes. The same look he had given me when I tried to kill myself is back. He pushes a piece of my hair off my face, and puts his hand on my cheek. I can't even react to what is happening, because it was so quiet and the only person in the room with me is Reese.

I start to think that nothing is going to happen, when all of a sudden, The Man in the Suit kisses me passionately. I kiss him back, realizing that some sort of connection had formed between us in just one day.

"When I saw that you were going to go through the window, I had to tell you how I felt before I lost you forever," he said. He kisses me again. "I love you."

I am completely speechless. My mouth cannot form the words I want to say back to him. I finally form the words and say them out loud.

"I love you too," I reply.

However, I had no idea that I would be in danger again. Now with someone protecting me, what could go wrong?

The next morning, I walk out of my bedroom and see Reese and Finch drinking coffee and eating doughnuts. The dog is laying in his bed, but wags his tail once he sees me.

"Morning Ms. Shaw," Finch said. "You have good timing. We received Hansen's number again, and I think she's the victim."

"Where was she last seen?" Reese asked.

"She was walking outside her office by 42nd Street."

"Shaw and I will check it out."

He hands me a handgun, and we 'borrow' someone's car, which was technically stealing it.

We arrived at Hansen's office, and spotted her getting some coffee at a stand across the street. I decided to get a closer look at the lawyer. But, getting out of the car would be the worst decision I would ever make. Reese texted me saying that he would go into the building and try to figure out if someone was coming after Diane.

When I turned the corner, I suddenly felt like someone's presence was behind me. A present was on the ground, and it was addressed to me. I picked up the package and it felt warm. It felt like hot chocolate, but I wasn't sure, so I decided to take a closer look. I ripped off the paper and saw that it was a metal Thermos. I took the lid off the container, and found boiling water inside. I suddenly realized that my abuser had sent me the present. My father was trying to scare me.

I would hunt him down until I died. I would make sure that he got arrested and taken to jail to pay for what he did to me. But as I was about to put the lid back on the Thermos, a hand clamped over my mouth, and I was unable to scream to help. I was hoping that Reese would realize that something was wrong because I had been chasing Diane for 20 minutes, and I was getting nowhere.

"This one's a fighter," I heard a voice say. "I'll make sure that this is undetected by that stupid Machine. Where's backup when you need it?"

I tried to kick and punch my attacker, but he was stronger. Another person came up behind me and I heard the sound of metal moving around. My hands were handcuffed behind my back and my gun was laid down on the ground next to the Thermos. A cloth was tied around my mouth. My kidnappers took me to a van at the end of the street, and there was no one around to try and help me.

I was forced to lie down on the floor of the van, and I heard the two men talking. The car quickly sped away from the building.

"Her little boyfriend is going to pay us a lot of money if he wants this precious woman back unharmed," one of them said.

"Well, let's see what Boss wants with her first," the second man replied. He turned towards me, and gave me a stare that would consciously haunt me forever.

"Listen up," he continued. "You're our leverage, and we aren't going to let you go until we get what we want. If you even manage to get that cloth undone around your mouth, don't even think about screaming for help. We'll be out of New York City in no time, and no one will find you. Not even your boyfriend."

Sometime later, the car stopped, and I was forced to walk towards an abandoned building. I concluded from my surroundings that we were in Brooklyn, which was only a few miles from NYC.

I was led inside the building, and I saw a tall man with graying hair get up from behind the desk that he was sitting at.

"Ms. Shaw," he said. "We have so much to discuss."

I was forced to sit in a chair with my arms zip-tied behind the chair.

"But first, let's give your boyfriend a call, shall we?" the man continued, pulling out a burner phone.

I heard him dial Reese's number, and the phone was put on speaker.

"Mr. Reese, how nice of you to pick up the phone," the man said.

"Who is this and how do you know my name?" Reese threatened.

"My name doesn't matter. How I know your name is not important either. What should matter to you is that I think you're missing someone special."

"Who?"

"I think I have someone that belongs to you that you will most certainly want back. And the person I have is your wonderful girlfriend, Ms. Shaw."

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

I sit tied to a chair, struggling against the zip-ties holding my wrists behind my back. I hear the man taunting Reese, and I feel my boyfriend's anger and concern for me. If my hands weren't tied and I had my gun, this crazy perpetrator would already be dead or handcuffed. If I didn't kill him, then Reese or Finch would probably find me first and rescue me from this dark place. I had been living a horrible life, and it seemed that darkness would always control me. But Reese and Finch, especially Reese, were the light that shone through the darkness. I realized that I didn't want to die. I wanted to live and be with the new love of my life. But I had to get out of the prison first.

The man left the room, and I thought that I would only have one chance to try and escape. I noticed a knife sitting on a table a few feet away and I was able to pull myself and the chair over to the table. I picked up the knife and cut through the zip-ties and put the weapon in my pocket, thinking that it would be useful later. I quietly ran over to a window and noticed that I was on the third story of an abandoned building. A fire escape would lead me right to the ground and I would be able to run back towards New York City.

I began to feel the need for hot water. I needed it so bad, but I was nowhere near a fresh source. I figured that I needed to get back to Reese and Finch's Library in order to get my supply. I opened the window and quickly headed down the fire escape ladder onto the ground and began running towards a taxi.

"Taxi!" I shouted. "New York City."

The driver drove the few minutes out of Brooklyn and towards the city. I stopped in Times Square and spotted Reese off in the distance quietly following Hansen. I quickly hurried up to him and when I said his name, the look on his face was one of relief. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me, asking if I was alright.

"I'm ok," I told him. "Anything new on Hansen?"

"Finch and I concluded that she is the perpetrator in the crime of killing her ex-lover. I'm on my way to arrest her."

I saw Reese's police badge and realized that he was undercover. There had to be some explanation as to why he wouldn't be living as his real identity. I saw him put the handcuffs on Hansen's wrists and start leading her towards the police station.

An hour later, Reese and I were back at headquarters. Finch handed me a name tag.

"You must be undercover for a while until we find a way to defeat Samaritan. That is The Machine's enemy, becoming more powerful every day. Soon, we might all fall victim to its game and can no longer operate normally. You will be known as Nadia and be working at Bloomingdales' on Fifth Avenue."

Reese handed me a burner phone and told me that it was the only form of technology I was allowed to use, otherwise I would be traced by Samaritan and my cover would be blown. He also handed me a new handgun and told me that there was a secret warehouse that housed a lot more guns and was out of any camera's view.

I was feeling tired and decided to head to my room for the night. When I entered my bedroom, Bear was wide awake in his bed and started wagging his tail once he saw me. I scratched him behind the ears for a few minutes and then flopped into my bed, exhausted.

The next morning, I barely had time for breakfast. The need for hot water increased, and I felt like I was going to die without it. I walked into the kitchen and saw the full teakettle on the stovetop, boiling away. There was also a pot of boiling water, and I saw that there were carrots on the bottom of the pot, cooking away. A second pot was on the stovetop, completely empty. I decided to get more relief by putting my recently-washed hands into the pot and put the carrots into the second pot.

The water burned my skin, turning it cherry red, but I didn't cry out in pain. I only kept my pain inside. The water was getting rid of the memories of my father and Michael. I thought about visiting my fiance's gravesite, but now I was so busy trying to stop perpetrators and saving victims' lives. And I also had my new undercover job starting in an hour.

After 30 seconds, I pulled my hands out of the water and noticed that I had suffered mild first- degree burns, but I didn't care. All I cared about when I put my hands in the water was getting rid of the painful memories that I didn't want to even remember. Memories that were so painful to even think about.

"Shaw…" I heard a voice say behind me. I turned around and saw Reese standing in the kitchen archway. "Why are you still doing this?"

"I have to," I said. "I have to get rid of the memories that are so painful. I don't even want to think, let alone remember them, so burning helps me get rid of them for a while."

"You're going to damage yourself if you don't stop doing this. I can help you get rid of them."

"Please. Anything to get rid of them."

An hour later, I'm curled up in bed next to the man I'm crazily in love with. He just held me close and reassured me that everything was ok. I looked at my watch and realized that I had 15 minutes to be at work and doing my job. I did not want to be late on my very first day. However, I didn't know that Samaritan was keeping a close eye on me the whole time I was driving to work. And I didn't realize that it had even bigger plans for me. Plans that would force me to chose who I loved more. Choices that I would forever regret.

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

I sit in Bloomingdales, doing absolutely nothing. I am so bored that I just want to pack up my things and go home. But that would not be a great first impression on my new boss. Because who wants to keep an employee that will just leave right away on their first day? No one wants to.

Then, I'm greeted by the sight of a blond woman pulling her gun out. She cocks it, then points it at me and fires.

The bullet slams into the wall next to me and I duck down behind the counter. I pull out my gun and shoot at the blond woman, but of course she doesn't get hit. She continues to fire bullets at me, every one of them hitting the wall and missing me. I manage to escape out of the building, throwing my name tag on the ground. I see Reese driving towards me on a motorcycle. Once he pulls up, he tosses me a helmet and tells me to get on the motorcycle. We are soon back at the secret headquarters, away from the sight of any cameras. I need to burn myself. But I am slowly backing away from my addition. I realize that purposely burning myself is not going to get rid of the pain in any way. Reese has been helping me. I love him so much, and I have no idea why I'm even thinking about him cheating on me. I shouldn't be thinking about that; I should be focused on trying to locate my father and take him down once and for all.

However, Reese tells me that a new number has come up: Ulrich Kohl. This man was out to kill his own wife after she supposedly died in a car accident, but had fled to the U.S. in order to escape from her husband.

Reese tells me he's going to pay Ulrich a visit and would be back within an hour since the house was only 10 minutes away.

I decided to get myself some dinner, even though it was only four in the afternoon. I look at the clock once I've finished eating my food and realize that it's been two hours since Reese went to visit Kohl. But my boyfriend hadn't returned and I began to worry. Finch entered the room a few minutes later and also has a worried look on his face.

"Have you seen Mr. Reese? He's been gone for a while."

"I haven't. Two hours ago, he was going to pay our newest number a visit, but I have received no response from him. He said he would be back within the hour."

"I'll keep trying to reach him, and I want you to trace his cell phone. Hopefully you can figure out where he is."

I use one of Finch's spare laptops to trace Reese's phone, but I all I see is that the phone is at the house where he left to visit two hours ago. I decide to check out the circumstances, since they were a bit suspicious. I tell Finch where I am going, and he acknowledges that he knows what I am doing.

Ten minutes later, I have a disguise on so that I am not detected by Samaritan, only by The Machine. The good side was trying to protect me and the bad side was trying to eliminate me forever. I make sure that my cell phone is not traceable, then pull out my sidearm and saunter towards the house. The door is locked, and I have to pick it open with a paperclip from my back pocket. I always kept one or two in a pocket in case I am stuck in a situation where I need one.

The lock is quickly picked, and I enter the house. I am completely alone, and I notice my boyfriend's cell phone sitting on a table next to the couch. This can't be good.

I see a note written on the coffee table. It would be hard to identify who wrote it, because it was typed. The font appeared to be Times New Roman. One of the common fonts used for typing.

The note said: "Ms. Shaw, I just know that you came here looking for your precious Reese. But I have him. He's been quite cooperative. He's also told me so much about you. If you want him back, you will expect a call within 15 minutes. Be prepared. And of course, he will not tell you where he is being held."

I sink back into a chair, feeling pain. This creep has my boyfriend. What am I supposed to do? Sit around and wait until the call comes? No, I need to let Finch know what I've found.

I pick up my phone and dial my boss. He answers right away.

"Finch, Reese's been taken. Ulrich has him," I say.

"What? He's gone?"

"Yes. Ulrich kidnapped Reese and took him somewhere. Where he is I have no idea. But I found a note telling me that Ulrich is going to call within 15 minutes."

"Ms. Shaw, the phone is ringing right now. He is calling you. I'll be listening in, but I'm going to try and trace the call."

We quickly say goodbye, and I answer the incoming call.

"Ms. Shaw, that was quick. I'm surprised that you already found the note," the kidnapper said. He had either a Russian or Ukrainian accent.

"What do you want from him?" I snap. My anger builds up inside. "Let him go and you can have me instead."

"No, don't," I hear Reese say. He sounds weak, like Ulrich did something to him.

"DID I TELL YOU THAT YOU COULD TALK?" the perpetrator's angry voice responds. "I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP."

I hear Reese cry out in pain. But the scream is muffled.

"Not another word out of you until you are told to speak," Ulrich threatened. "You hear that, Ms. Shaw? Hearing the sound of your boyfriend suffer. His fault for keeping the truth from me about my wife. He will pay. I want you to feel his pain."

"Let him go you creep," I snapped.

"No way. You'll get him back after I'm through with him."

The line went dead, and my hands clench into fists. The man would be dead before he would even be taken to jail. I would make sure that he paid for what he did to Reese.

Finch calls me again, telling me that he wasn't able to get a trace on Ulrich's cell phone. I had absolutely no way to locate Reese. Unless The Machine could find him first since it was probably the smartest computer system alive.

**TBC... **


	5. Chapter 5

I lay on the floor, two bullet holes in my abdomen. I am bleeding rapidly, and I can make out Reese trying to get to me, but he's in the elevator, being held back by Finch, Detective Fusco, and the newest asset, Root. I see the figure off the distance come towards me, a gun in her hand. I realize that I am looking straight into the eyes of Death. I recognize the figure as the woman who tried to kill me in Bloomingdales. It has been three weeks since Fusco and I rescued Reese from Kohl and had him arrested. Reese and I have been developing a closer relationship. I am just waiting for the day when he proposes to me.

"Want me to eliminate her, Sir?" the blond woman asks off into the distance.

"No," the man replies. "We need her. Get her to Lambert. We need to take those bullets out. Maybe we can make her comply with us."

I notice that the elevator and my boyfriend and teammates have reached the ground floor. Hopefully they can get to safety and figure out what this blond woman wants from me.

She picks me up off the ground and begins to drag me down the hall to where the man known as Lambert is waiting for me. He helps the blond woman carry me out to a dark green car. A gray-haired man is at the car, ready to get in the driver's seat. If I hadn't been shot twice, I would have already killed my three newest abductors. Kidnapped again...who does that to someone?

_I remember revealing my relationship with Reese to the whole team just before I was gunned down. We were trying to stop Samaritan from causing the Stock Market to crash. Finch was able to stop the Crash, while Reese, Root, Fusco, and I went out and tried to take down Samaritan. We were able to stop almost all of them, but when we tried to escape down the elevator, the controls weren't working. I noticed an override switch and said that one of us had to go out and push the button while holding off Samaritan. Finch and Fusco were taking care of Root, who had been shot in the back. I said that I would push the button, since I was the only one who had enough ammo left. As I prepared to leave the elevator, Reese grabbed my arm and said, "If you even think about going out there, I won't let you."_

_"For goodness sakes," I replied. Knowing I didn't have much time before Samaritan arrived, I grabbed ahold of his suit and kissed him goodbye, then gave him a small shove. Finch and Fusco caught Reese and he was pretty upset as I locked the elevator and ran to the other wall to hit the override button. I managed to hit the button and take down one more Samaritan operative, but not before Crazy Blond, as I called her, shot me twice in the abdomen. I could hear Reese crying, knowing that he could have taken them down._

Sometime later, I awake at some building. I'm so weak from the gunshots that I have no energy to run.

"Ms. Shaw, glad you could join us," the gray-haired man replied. I recognized his voice right away. He was the one who had taunted Reese the first time I was taken by this psycho.

Before I knew it, I realized I had been drugged. I was falling into the darkness that was quickly claiming me as its next victim.

"It's only an anesthetic," the man continued. "We need you alive."

I don't know how long I was out for, but when I woke up, I found that the two bullets had been taken out. I was tied to the bed.

"Good, you're awake," Crazy Blond says. She tells me her name is Martine. "Sir, the target is awake. What do you want me to do with her?"

"Prepare for the drugs trial. We have a new asset to recruit," the gray-haired man says to Martine off in the distance.

However, I am slightly terrified. What did he mean when he said that they were recruiting a new asset?

I am still not strong enough to break out of the handcuffs restraining me. I needed to get out of this place. The problem was: I had no idea how close this building was to the Subway. If it was close, I could easily find my way back. But if I was far away, how was I supposed to get back to my home?

Martine left the room and came back a few minutes later with a vial of a clear liquid. I begin to panic as she switches out the morphine for this strange drug.

"It's a muscle relaxant," she says to me. "You'll be feeling even better in a little bit."

The relaxant makes me sleepy. I soon begin dozing off, and then fall into a deep sleep.

When I wake up, I see Martine, Lambert, and the gray-haired man standing by my bedside. I smile once I see them. Wait, why am I smiling? I am not in any way on Samaritan's side. I am on The Machine's side! But I can't stop smiling. It's like something's changed.

"Hello, Ms. Shaw, welcome to Samaritan," Lambert says. "You're just perfect for the job."

"What...what job?" I ask. "I am not in any way on your side!"

"Oh really? Then who's John Reese?"

My brain begins to panic. There has to be a lot of memories of Reese! We've been dating for almost a month, how could I forget him? He is unforgetable.

But I can't remember. There is no memory of him.

"I..I don't know," I respond.

"See? They don't exist. You are siding with Samaritan. We made you comply. You are now working for us."

I smile again. "Yes Sir," I reply. "First assignment?"

"To eliminate Reese, Finch, Root, and Fusco once and for all. Once The Machine is destroyed along with its Admin and associates, we will show humanity who we are."

They uncuff me, and give me a handgun.

"Eliminate them all," the gray-haired-man says.

"It will be done," I reply.

Once I'm set off on my mission, something seems to click in the back of my brain. I spot Reese off in the distance, and I raise my weapon, preparing to shoot. But suddenly, it appears as if my memory was restored. Reese...everything about him, the dates we had, everything about him and the team comes back to me. I need to warn him.

"Reese!" I shout. He turns around, and runs towards me. I do the same thing. Once we reach each other, I jump off the ground and he catches me in his arms. It isn't long before he kisses me.

"I was so worried," he says. "I thought you were gone forever."

"Samaritan kidnapped me and did a horrible job of brainwashing me into becoming the newest asset," I reply. "But I know where they are. I want them dead."

"We'll take care of them, but first, how are you doing? From the injuries, I mean."

"They got the bullets out, but it's painful."

"I want you to rest up," he says, taking my hand and leading me to the safehouse. It's the best place for me to be right now. Once I'm well enough to go back into the field, I will be tracking down my father. I will hunt him down and have him thrown into prison. But, my addiction to hot water is slowly going away. Today, however, I cannot help myself. I needed the water. It's like a drug that you can't stop taking.

When I am alone, I fill the teakettle with water and wait for it to heat up. Once the water is warm enough, I pour it into a mug and dump the boiling water on myself. I cry out in pain, and I realize that Reese hasn't left the safehouse- he was only in the arsonal room.

"Shaw, are you alright?" he asks, running into the kitchen. He looks shocked once he sees the teakettle and mug full of water.

He looks at me again, this time, concerned. "Why did you do this?"

"I almost started working for the enemy, John. The enemy. Samaritan. How would you feel if you were ordered to eliminate the people you loved and cared about? They were going to make me kill you. I would kill myself once the drug had worn off," I reply.

He dumps the water into the sink, then sits down on the floor next to me and pulls me into his arms as I break down crying.

"I promise I will make them pay," he says, stroking my arm. "I will make sure they never get near you ever again."

TBC...


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning seems to come early for me. I don't want to get out of bed. But then I smell eggs and bacon and I know that I can't miss my favorite breakfast. I realize that today Reese and the team are going to bring down Samaritan and hopefully track down my father. I can hear Michael's voice in the back of my head, telling me how much he loves me. I begin to cry, realizing how much I'm missing him. The pain of losing him is starting to become unbearable. I'm still thinking about death and how it might be a better place for me to be at the moment. But then, what would I do about Reese? He would be brokenhearted, even more saddened than when I had sacrificed myself to save him.

When I walk into the kitchen, I see that he's got bacon in a pan cooking and eggs are being put on a plate. The bacon soon finishes, and he turns to me and hands me my breakfast.

I don't know what I would do without him, I think. My life would have been torn to shreds if he hadn't shown up on that fateful day when I tried to jump off the bridge.

It doesn't take me long to eat my food. When I finish, he pulls me into his arms and says, "Forget about the dishes, we have an enemy to arrest."

"But I at least want to put the dishes away. I think we should leave Finch with less work," I reply.

I try to reach for my plate, but he just holds me tighter.

"You have no idea how worried sick I was when I saw you get shot. I thought you had died," he continues. "I was furious that you went out there alone. I should have gone with you. I never want you to go out on a mission alone ever again, do you understand?"

"Yes, Mr. Reese, I understand," I say. "I won't be going out alone."

"Good," he replies. He releases me so I can take a shower. I need to wash off every trace of Samaritan. Every trace of my kidnapping, Martine, Lambert, and the gray-haired man.

20 minutes later, I have three guns handy and ready to be fired. I follow Fusco, Reese, and Root out to the car and we are soon on our way to bringing down the enemy. Reese turns out to be an excellent driver, but when we are close to the place where I was held captive, several Samaritan operatives are preparing to shoot us. Root, even with an injured back, puts her hand out the window and eliminates all the operatives.

We step out of the car, guns in our hands and begin to walk towards the building. I see Lambert and Martine coming towards us with two sniper rifles. Reese fires off a shot, hitting Lambert perfectly in the kneecap. The Operative falls to the ground, and behind Martine are about two dozen more Samaritan operatives. The other day, Reese had attached a machine gun to the car, which was perfect for situations like this.

I began firing. Bullets were flying through the air like crazy and I managed to take down everyone except for Martine. I had shot Lambert in the leg, and he had dropped his gun on the ground. Reese, still holding a rifle got out of the car and guarded me as I tied Lambert up and threw him into the back of the van. Fusco handcuffed our captive's wrists and shut him up with duct tape. We needed Lambert for information on his boss and as to why Samaritan was trying to kill us.

A half hour later, Reese pulls up in front of an abandoned warehouse somewhere on the outskirts of the city. It is in the middle of nowhere and away from the sight of Samaritan. However, the Machine did have eyes on us, which was hidden in plain sight. Finch was at the Subway, watching us and hopefully would be able to track down Martine and the gray-haired man.

I saw Lambert awake, looking very confused and trying to figure out where he was. I was holding a gun, Root was holding a Taser, and Reese was ready to kick the crap of the captive. Fusco was guarding the door, but was holding an assault rifle and was prepared to shoot if Lambert tried to escape.

"You're going to tell us everything you know about Martine, Samaritan, and your boss," Reese says. "Or we will inflict as much pain as possible."

"What do you want to know about them," Lambert asks.

"We want to know who the boss is. The gray-haired man. Who is he and what does he want with us?"

"I don't know who that is."

Reese is enraged. He steals Root's Taser and shocks Lambert. He gasps, then receives another shock.

"Who is the gray-haired man?" Reese asks again.

As he prepares to shock him again, the captive suddenly yells, "Wait!"

Lambert continues to speak. "His name is John Greer, but we just call him Greer. Martine is my fiancée, and we are ordered by Greer to eliminate anything that could possibly harm Samaritan."

"Good start, now why is Greer going after us?"

"Because he knows that you work for the Machine, and it's Samaritan's enemy. Samaritan will win in the end."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that. Where is Samaritan?"

"In the building where Shaw was held. There are two drives. Destroy them and Samaritan is gone."

But I began to feel like something was off. If we destroy two hard drives, then how is an entire computer system, more powerful than the Machine, going to be permanently gone?

"You're going to take us to the building and tell us where the drives are. Then, you, Martine, and Greer will be spending the rest of your lives in prison," Reese says. I smile, knowing that we are one step close to bring down the enemy. Once Samaritan is destroyed, I can finally track down my father and have him rot away in prison for what he did to me.

Lambert is allowed to stand up, and after he does, Fusco re-handcuffs him and leads him out to the car.

I re-load my guns and make sure I have extra ammo with me. I'm pretty sure I'm going to need a lot of bullets if we are taking down more than just Martine and Greer.

Before I realize it, we are back at the building where I was held. I want to blow this place up so that I'm not having recurring nightmares.

When we walk into the building, we give Lambert specific instructions as to what he had to do if he wanted to survive. Well, survive and going to spend the rest of his life in prison.

I can hear Lambert talking to Martine, who says that she will get the drives. He comes back to us and gives us the drives. Reese takes a sledgehammer that he hid in the car and hits the drives over and over again until they are destroyed. They are now impossible to fix. I can see that the feeds are disappearing. Servers are getting destroyed and Samaritan is falling apart. I remember that Finch had uploaded a dangerous virus to Samaritan's servers earlier in the day, and now the virus would completely destroy the enemy.

I suddenly began to smell smoke. I realized that the place was rigged to blow.

"There's a bomb!" I yell, but my voice is soon drowned out by the bomb going off.

I fall to the ground, my ears ringing. The last thing I hear is Reese screaming my name before I black out.

**TBC...**


End file.
